WHO MAY BE MARRIED AT
ST. ANDREW’S EPISCOPAL CHURCH?

1. Active members: parishioners who are in good standing.

2. Members who are presently inactive, but willing to commit themselves to becoming active.

3. Children or grandchildren of members of St. Andrew’s.

4. Out-of-town Episcopalians who maintain a “dual”
church membership; [that is “cottagers” who] attend and support St.Andrew’s when here, as well as attending and supporting their primary parish in their community of permanent residence.

5. Out-of-town Episcopalians who are active in some other Episcopal parish, and whose Rector requests
permission to officiate at their wedding. In evaluating and granting such requests, the Rector of St. Andrew’s may take into account the schedule of events already on the parish calendar, the workload of the Altar Guild, and other staff. A fee for this service will be charged.

SOME REQUIREMENTS FOR MARRIAGE AT ST. ANDREW’S

• The first step is to contact the church office (252-727-9093)
  and arrange for an introductory meeting with the Rector.
  No wedding date can be considered firm until that meeting
  takes place and the policies of St. Andrew’s with regard to
  music, decorations, photography, fees, etc. have been
  explained, understood and agreed to.
• At least one of the parties must be baptized.
• When either or both parties have been previously
  Married and that marriage has ended in divorce or
  annulment, the Bishop of the Diocese must be
  consulted and grant permission for the priest to perform
  the ceremony. Except in rare circumstances, the Bishop
  will authorize the remarriage only if a year has elapsed
  since the final divorce decree.
• A series of counseling sessions is required of the couple.
  Usually the series consists of three or more meetings with
  the Priest.
• The marriage must conform to the laws of the State of North Carolina and the canons of the Episcopal Church.
• No ceremony will be allowed to proceed without the marriage license. The couple should obtain their license at least three weeks prior to the wedding date and bring it to the rehearsal.
  

The Rector

• Marriage is a worship service of the church. The service used at St. Andrew’s is that provided in The Book of Common Prayer of The Episcopal Church.
• The wedding rehearsal will be arranged at a suitable hour and begin promptly.
• There is no expectation that the Rector be invited to the prenuptial festivities, the rehearsal party or the wedding reception. However, the rector will be happy to attend any of these, if available, with a written invitation.
• As in every service of the Church, the priest is charged by Canon Law with the final responsibility for determining the appropriateness of all arrangements and details.
  

Assisting Clergy

• If it is the desire of the bride or groom to have other clergy (regardless of denomination) to assist at a wedding, please discuss this with the Rector before any indication or invitation is given to the other clergy. It is imperative that the invitation to other clergy comes from the Rector of St. Andrew’s.

Pre Marital Counseling

• Pre Marital Counseling is required before a wedding can be held. This includes a minimum of three sessions with the Rector or another minister approved by the Rector. The purpose of pre marital counseling is to insure the couple’s willingness and readiness to enter into the covenant of Christian Marriage. If the Rector believes the couple not ready for such a commitment, he may require the wedding be postponed until the couple is ready. This may also require referral to a professional counselor

Wedding Direction

• St Andrew's has wedding directors on staff. Because of specific policies and traditions in the Church, outside wedding coordinators are not permittedat the rehearsal nor the ceremony. One of our staff will coordinate seating and the processionals while the Rector will assume direction of the actual ceremony.
• An information form should be completed and given to the wedding director at least two weeks prior to the rehearsal.

Times and Dates

• Dates and times for the wedding must be scheduled through the Rector.
• Weddings must take place no later than 6:00 p.m. If a reception is to be held in the Parish Hall, the wedding can be no later than 5:00 p.m. If a wedding is to include a celebration of the Eucharist, followed by a reception in the Parish Hall, the wedding must take place no later than 4:00 p.m.
• Weddings are not held on Sundays or during the Lenten season. We can accommodate one wedding in the Church on a given day.

The Liturgy

• The Episcopal Church is a liturgical church, and, as such, worship services are defined by The Book of Common Prayer, and normally include a liturgical procession, with a crucifer leading the wedding party and clergy.
  

Children in the Wedding

• Our experience has proven that it is unwise to have children under the age of six participate in weddings, either as Ring Bearer or Flower Girl.
  

Acolytes

• We at St. Andrew’s encourage the use of an acolyte as crucifer.
  The bride and groom are encouraged to select acolytes who are members of the parish, however, may choose others who have been approved by the Rector beforehand.
  

Number of Attendants

• Due to limited space in the Nave, we recommend that the total number of attendants be limited to ten.

Music

• Music for the Church is under the direction of the Rector and the Parish Organist. The Parish Organist, Mr. Tom Midyette, is to be given first option to play for all weddings at St. Andrew’s. (He can be contacted at 252-728-3906.) If he is able to play on the desired date, he will set up a mutually convenient planning session, at least sixty days prior to the wedding to discuss the music. There is a fee for the organist. If Mr. Midyette is not available for that date, he will suggest other organists.
• We do not use the popular wedding marches, both of which are taken from secular works. Music for weddings is selected from the works of great composers, all of whom have written both joyous and appropriate music.
• Music also may be selected from our hymnal.

Photographs

• The professional photographer and/or videographer must be approved by the Rector.
  The taking of photographs during the wedding service is not allowed except by the designated photographer. Posed pictures may be taken in the church before and after the service up to an hour. The photographer and videographer will be restricted to the balcony without artificial lighting. The photographer must remain behind the last pew. The photographer is allowed to take pictures of the bridal attendants in the parish hall. Please share this information with the photographer.
  

The Communion

• Since the marriage service is a worship service involving the whole congregation, a celebration of the Holy Eucharist is usually included. In fact, The Book of Common Prayer service of Holy Matrimony is written within the context of the Holy Eucharist. (The decision to have the Eucharist will be made by the couple with the advice and counsel of the officiating priest.) When the Holy Eucharist is celebrated as a part of the marriage ceremony, all baptized Christians will be invited to share in this sacrament of unity.

Escorting Family from the Church

• If the bride’s parents have been divorced and remarried, it is the custom at St. Andrew’s Church for the bride’s father to be escorted from the Church immediately following the bride’s mother and her escort. The bride’s father sits on the second row unless other seating arrangements have been made.

Rice and Birdseed

• St. Andrew’s requests that no birdseed, rice, flower petals, etc. be scattered either in the Church, on the steps or in the courtyard. There are many elderly members of the parish and this practice might prove dangerous to them on Sunday morning.
  

Flowers

• Flowers may be used behind the Altar and in the Narthex. The Church florist is Sandy’s Flower Shop, 4702 Arendell Street, phone number, 252-247-3323, but the bridal party may use their own florist provided the Altar Guild is notified in advance to arrange for time of delivery and size of Altar flower urns.
• The florist must arrange with the Altar Guild if flowers are to be delivered more than two and one-half hours prior to the ceremony.
• Poinsettias (white or red) may not be used as wedding Altar flowers before Christmas.
• Neither silk nor potted flowers may be used.
• It is the custom at St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church that flowers prepared for the Altar are to remain on the Altar for Sunday services. The Sunday bulletin will identify the flowers as given in thanksgiving for the marriage.
  

Pew Markers

• The use of pew markers is optional. St. Andrew’s has a set of markers. A ribbon may be used to mark the first two rows of reserved pews to be used.

Candles

• Candles for the Altar are furnished by the Church. No other candles are to be used in decorating the Church.
• The use of “Unity Candles” is not permitted.
• Aisle runners are not permitted.
• Spreading flower petals on the aisle is not permitted.
  

Receptions

• The Parish Hall is available for receptions; however there is currently not enough church staff to provide the refreshments and service for such a reception. Consult with the Rector should such a reception be desired. The facilities can be used for catered receptions and the kitchen may be used for such an affair.
• Appropriate compensation to the sexton is required according to the fee schedule and an additional fee may be charged for use of Parish Hall/Kitchen.
  

Alcohol Policy

• Alcoholic drinks are not permitted on the premises at receptions unless approved by the Rector thirty days in advance. Such approval will be for wine and/or champagne and limited to two servings per guest. According to Diocesan policy, if alcohol is served there must be adequate food and alternative non-alcoholic beverages available.
• The wedding party is expected to refrain from having any alcohol prior to the rehearsal and the wedding. Please do not spoil this special day by inappropriate behavior. The Rector reserves the right to excuse a member of the wedding party from the ceremony under these circumstances.
  

Dressing at the Church

• Women in the wedding party may use the Parlor in the east wing as a dressing room for the wedding. The nursery in the west wing is available for the men in the wedding party to use. Mirrors, fans and an emergency necessity kit are provided in both rooms. Smoking or drinking of alcoholic beverages in these areas is not permitted. Someone in the wedding party should remove all personal belongings from these rooms immediately after the wedding and assure that these areas are picked up and left as they were found. The parish cannot be responsible for lost or stolen items.

Fees

• Rector: Since a Wedding is a Worship Service of the Church, there is no financial compensation given the Rector for celebrating at the service. If, however, you wish to make a gift; a check may be made to the Rector’s Discretionary Fund, which will be used for helping those in need.
• Organist: $200.00
• Sexton: $25.00 per hour with a minimum of two hours
• Use of the Church: $400.00
• Use of the Parish Hall: $250.00